Let me show you my pet monkey
I give him everything he needs
That's just him saying that he loves me
When he struggles on his lead
I'll dress him up, a pointless shave
Crash course in how my friends behave
I won't encourage him to leave this time
Play one more time with your monkey friends
While I go build your monkey pen

I see you've built an impressive zoo
Did those sweat and tears belong to you?
He'll quit to work and gather food
His dreams replaced by you
Just one last question still stands out
About a monkey in a reptile house

We missed him at first, but now he's covered in
The smell of a barely human being
We fight the urge to reject the homo
Erectus he's trained to be I'm sure he'll
Run back to the zoo again
With his tail between his legs
In a level of irony reserved for few
Does Stockholm Syndrome mean anything to you?

It's quite simple, the games are over
I won't stand for your own kind
Now get your arse back on my shoulder
And leave those other chumps behind
With any luck, one by one
They'll forget you, where you've gone
Truth be told, I couldn't care less
Your friends'll have to go away now
You other shits wave this monkey out

When he bares his teeth in a lonely grin
And his eyes light up with resentment when
He claps the cymbals she tied to his hands
In an effort to make him understand
Exactly what sucks about marching bands

We missed him at first, but now he's covered in
The smell of a barely human being
We fight the urge to reject the homo
Erectus he's trained to be I'm sure he'll
Run back to the zoo again
With his tail between his legs
Oh, visiting hours are over now
At least the rest of us can scamper out

We missed him at first, but now he's covered in
The smell of a barely human being
We fight the urge to reject the homo
Erectus he's trained to be I'm sure he'll
Run (why would he run?) back to the zoo again (when I'm having so much fun)
With his tail between his legs
(I made him better than you)
Holy shit, someone call the animal league
She's managed to squeeze him into jeans

You don't know anything about our love
Not quite, I just don't know what he's thinking of
But agree to disagree
I (You've) seen enough
You know we're not that different, you and I
I'd believe you if you weren't holding that monkey knife
But agree to disagree (yeah, you're probably right)
It's his life (Mine for life)

We missed him at first, but now he's covered in
The stink of a barely human being
We fight the urge to reject the homo
Erectus he's trained to be one day he'll
Run (Won't let him run) away
One day he'll bust out of his cage
And he'll snatch that shocked look off your face