Forgive me while I indulge myself
And I'll tell you a story about a dream I had
Where I was badass and my weapon of choice
Was an SM57 and a gun in my hand

Take me away from this tragedy
Another tale of what the drink has done to me
If I had just two minutes to write the whole thing down
Of flaming skulls and dreadlocked girls
And gunfire all around

I'll come and rescue you
With a combination of hand grenades and all the spells I know
I don't expect you to understand it
But I know I'm winning when I hold the gun one-handed

Marines and demons dropped dead on the floor
I battled an alien ship with a reactor core
The evilest magician tried to come take me a slave
I put my gun into his face and magicked him away

I'll come and rescue you
With a combination of hand grenades and all the spells I know
I don't expect you to understand it
But I know I'm winning when I hold the gun one-handed

Forgive me while I indulge myself
And I'll tell you a story about a dream I had
Where I was badass and my weapon of choice
Was an SM57 and a gun in my hand

I'll come and rescue you
With a combination of hand grenades and all the spells I know
I don't expect you to understand it
But I know I'm winning when I hold the gun one-handed

I woke, knew what to do
With anticipation of darker days and all the hell we know
I don't expect us to fight about it
But I know I'm winning when I hold the gun one-handed
I know we're winning when we've got you all surrounded
I know the ones that win will be with dreams unfounded